what a load of crepe

NB I wrote this yesterday

I'd like to write about work. Recently I've been praising my job, and for the most part I enjoy it, but today I would like to post a small rant:

At 8 o'clock we begin to prepare for the 9 o'clock close, and so implement a "take away only" policy. You'd think, considering the fact that we put tables across the exits, turn the stools upside down, and, here's the kicker, tell customers we're implementing a "take away only" policy, that this would be fairly obvious?

It isn't.

Last time I closed, I began preparing at the usual time. I cleared the tables, cleaned them, emptied the bins, moved the tables and the stools, and went back to start cleaning the kiosk. Then some customers arrived, and move aside one of the tables to sit down at the 'bar' area (this area has high chairs that stay upright, but even so they are all pushed to one end and the rest of the customer area is clearly closed). The gentleman then comes to the till to place his order, whereupon I told my coworker to tell him we're take away only after 8 (it was 8:17).

He didn't.

So now we have two customers in the closed eating area. Another couple arrive, decide they want in as well, and request that we move one of the tables back and take two stools down. I told them that no, we can't do that because we're take away only after 8. They look smugly at the two already sitting down, and I explain that they aren't supposed to be there, slightly louder than usual in the hope that they'll hear me and clear off, but no such luck. Instead I am obliged to fulfil the new couple's wish and undo yet more of my work.

I shrugged it off as "one of those days" and got on with making their food, figuring that I could get tidying behind the counter until they finished, then quickly go out and tidy up after them as to catch up with the schedule as quickly as possible. I prepared the food as usual, according to the guidelines, and took it out to them as a quasi-peace-offering, only to be told shortly afterwards that "the food [was] horrible" and to "make it again".

At this point I was very unamused. Two customers in the seating area who had already been told the seating area was closed were complaining that my correctly timed, correctly filled, and well presented food was "horrible" (not "unsatisfactory", "average" or even "not nice", but "horrible").

I then told them to fuck off, whilst constructing an impromptu missile from leftover food (mainly old egg), and launched it at them as hard as I could as they left. (Not really of course). I sure felt like doing it though; what I actually did was put the "horrible" food in the bin, made a new one, took it to them, cleaned the kiosk diligently while they ate, cleaned the customer seating area for a second time when they left, then finished and closed the kiosk as normal, all whilst maintaining a steady sense of rage.

Only when I was given 4 smoothies, 4 waffles and 2 croissants did aforementioned rage subside.