and so begins the drifter's summer

I'm currently in Leeds working and drifting between various friends' houses.

Our student house tenancy ended on June 30th, and since then I've had (and for the next few days will have) no fixed residence. Some may argue this situation is less than ideal, and in ways I'd be inclined to agree; the constant planning of where I'll be tomorrow / next week, which stuff I need with me, where the rest of my stuff will be stored, etc, is more stressful than I originally imagined but it's definitely manageable for the time I'm required to do it.

I'm grateful that the time I'm required to do it is short, though; it's probably not a realistically sustainable lifestyle.

__________________________________

It's been two nights so far, the first of which was spent Couchsurfing after a local student accepted my short-notice plea for a bed somewhere in Leeds. Couchsurfing in a city you're familiar with is a weird notion; part of the idea is the cultural exchange, learning about a new place through someone who lives there, and so arriving at my hosts house with at least equal knowledge of the city subtracted somewhat from the usual dynamic. Instead of discussing local history and landmarks, we discussed last week's Apprentice and debated whether animal charities should be allowed to exist (my viewpoint is yes, they should).

The second night was spent staying with a friend in his new student house. This was when I realised that the hardest part of the 'drifter' lifestyle was being a burden on those around you. I like to think in this case, my staying with him doesn't pose a particular problem; we get on well, it's been a while since we've chilled together, and I was able to lend a hand moving stuff between his house from last year and his house for this year. There's definitely potential for gaining a reputation as a bum though, which is something I want to avoid at all costs.

Luckily I've got plans for travel between July 10th and 15th, so on those days I'll be camping / hostelling around Scotland with a good friend of mine. After that I'll be taking up temporary room-mate status with another good friend who's moving up to his Leeds accommodation for parts of the Summer. Then I'm probably off travelling again (America / Canada this time) for most of August, and moving into a house of my very own in early September, so the short-term drifting is nearly at an end.

PHAT bass

just left Leeds house for the last time as a proper resident. I will return at the end of this month, but primarily in a cleaning capacity. my departure was marked by the bringing down of Emily's awesome speakers, and the playing of a selection of bass heavy music. various cooked frozen treats were also provided by George.

it's a weird feeling for two reasons, firstly the 'end of an era' thing, but secondly the underpinning 'I'll be back next week' thing, which I've already mentioned. I think the fact that we'll be there for cleaning purposes next time removes part of the finality but there's definitely a sense of limbo.

anyway, I just boarded the train home. it was a close shave though (this seems to be a recurring theme with everything I do; maybe my subconscious likes a challenge / the sense of adventure?). the ticket office were unable to issue me with a cycle reservation (I'm traveling home with my bike so that Alex and I may cycle from his house to Glastonbury next week). I was only vaguely aware of the possibility that I'd require a cycle pass, so luckily I was able to maintain my composure successfully enough to convince Farooq, the conductor, to let me on.

now I'm listening to Darwin Deez (standard), realising the omission of any fun activities in the items I've packed in my hand luggage, and wondering why the attractive lady opposite me, who's ticket says she should be in the seat next to me, is, in fact, opposite me.

hmmmmm...

redesign

I'm currently toying with the idea of a redesign of this blog; new layout, some way of separating the good posts (travel) from the filler (most of the other stuff), and various other little things.

So excuse the lack of decent posts lately, but keep an eye out for some in the near future!

dilemmas

budgeting and time tracking (keeping a diary / making to-do lists etC) are both useful tools, and I've benefited from both. but the fact that I have to do these things sometimes annoys me, and it's hard to tell why.

I feel that if I didn't, I'd be less efficient / productive than I am now, (and my house mates will tell you that even now I could improve on both counts!) but doing so makes me wonder whether I'd be unable to function without the things, which isn't a nice feeling (i.e. the realisation that I'm relying on books and lists to be a functional human being).

obviously it's hard to remember every appointment / errand / social engagement without any kind of help which is definitely a 'pro' for writing stuff down, but at the same time referring to a book a lot and having to write everything down for fear of forgetting is a 'con'.

this is a rant. obviously something I need to think about a bit more before blogging properly :p

tidy room, tidy mind

and my extension: tidy mind, hard to find

the difference between 'maintenance' and 'expansion' was bought to my attention today by Sebastian Marshall, whose blog I may have mentioned before. It's an interesting distinction, one that I believe I've got close to identifying myself before but, as with a lot of things, hearing the information elsewhere can make it clearer.

the difference is this: maintenance tasks are things that keep you at the level of operation you're currently at; things like hygiene, keeping your work / living areas tidy / eating, etc. expansive tasks are things that help you move forward, so networking, enterprising, making new connections, etc.

keeping a balance between the two can be hard, and I think it's something I've had trouble with before. when you spend too much time on maintenance, there's less time for expansion, and although a 50/50 balance is unrealistic with the two, a better balance than what I'm guessing my average is can be achieved. keeping my room tidy is something that I'm pathetically bad at, and when it's messy I lose things and it's not as nice a space to be in. when it's tidy it's a nice space where I can be productive. this realisation should make me want to keep it tidy at all times, right? and I do want to. but I don't do it. why? who knows.

(I'm writing this as I think it. these aren't rhetorical questions so any answers would be appreciated :p )


Sebastian Marshall also wrote the following, which I thought was a really good quote:

"Things are never perfect. Acknowledge things as they are, always. Discontent and despair don’t serve you. When bad feelings come over you, acknowledge them and dismiss them. Thinking, reflection, and self-control reigns. Keep building. Win."

"there is nothing in this world you can't do"

that's a nice quote, isn't it? it's adapted from a line in Amrita by Banana Yoshimoto, which I'm currently reading. in its original context the 'you' is replaced with 'he', and the 'he' to which she refers is a young child, deemed lucky by his peers because there is "nothing in the world he can't do".

a lovely sentiment. children do indeed have their whole lives (or at least, 80-90% of what's left of their whole lives) ahead of them, and, given encouragement, they can achieve anything. however, the masked suggestion that adults do not have the same 'luck', and have limitations imposed on them as to what things in this world they can do, is completely bunk.

I've been reading a lot recently about visualisation, and the belief that when you want something hard enough, the universe will conspire to help you achieve it (a friend of mine wrote this on his present to me for my 16th birthday and the power of the quote didn't hit me until recently). as it stands, I'm not sure whether I believe the universe will go out of its way to make your desires come true, but I definitely think there's something to be said for a positive mindset, and the belief that your desires can be realised.

good feelings fuel good feelings. when your mind is focused on a goal, you take action to make that goal happen (action that can be conscious or otherwise). when these steps towards the goal are taken, you get a morale boost which perpetuates the focus and good feelings, leading to more steps to be taken towards the goal. ad infinitum

(this also got me thinking about how one can recognise these small steps taken towards a goal; all too often it feels like progress is not being made, and this can have the opposite effect (even if progress is being made!), but this is for another post.)

so for now, listen to Banana when she says that "there is nothing in this world [you] can't do", because it's true :)

always have something to look forward to

I find this remarkable. by having something in the near future to look forward to (anything from a cup of coffee when you get in from work to a round-the-world holiday), you can:

• ease boredom (daydreaming about coffee's tantalising aroma)
• stimulate productivity ("I better pop to the shop on the way home to buy coffee!)
• bring a smile to your face (man, I love coffee :))
• evoke gratitude (my life is eventful and fun)

so, make a plan!



p.s. I don't have time to proofread / edit this at the moment and I'm aware it doesn't flow too well ;D

the first idea

I can tell this is going to be useful; I'm struggling to remember the first idea that needs to be reinforced after being written down initially (only 15 minutes ago), without looking at it.

it's something about TV.

I looked.

something along the lines of "entropy is the normal state for a mind to be in, TV offers quick, easy and constant distraction from this entropy which is why it's so easy to spend hours watching low-grade TV. so: don't watch low-grade TV. find something more productive to distract from the entropy."

obviously TV is good sometimes. if there's a show/series I particularly enjoy I'll watch it, and, as I said, enjoy it. spending 6 hours in front of game shows and DIY programs however is something to be avoided (not that I do it in the first place).

hopefully I'll remember this next time I'm bored and lean for the remote.

I got out of the bath for this

got hit by a million ideas whilst I was reading and bathing. all potentially productivity enhancing ideas, all easy to implement. the kind of ideas I have sometimes, write down somewhere, think about for a few moments until they naturally slip away into the chaos that is a mind, then never look at again.

one of the ideas that just hit me, however, is going to stop this from happening in the future. it will maximise the gain from the otherwise quickly forgotten ideas. and it's so simple:

"once it's written down, either blog it, tell someone about it, put it on a post-it on the wall, or something similar"

so essentially: reinforce it by doing something else beyond the initial writing it down.


AWESOME.

that's what she said

"You have been banned for the following reason:
No reason was specified.

Date the ban will be lifted:
Never"



I was only trying to contribute to online discussion regarding sheds, JEEZ.

my thoughts

oh my God, ideas are coming, things are happening here.

okay, okay.

what would you say, yeah, if I told you I had a plan...

"it can't be done. you're crazy."

what would you say Roy? Roy's passed out.

okay, I need a felt tipped pen, and some paper.

advices

don't be like stairs by letting people walk all over you to move themselves upwards

don't be like mimes: make sure you're heard as well as seen

summer's here

so term finished for me a week ago.

I managed to pick the exact modules as not to have any exams this semester (or indeed this year) and as a result the coursework deadline (May 9) marked the end of my involvement with academia until September.

Glorious.

now, while my housemates stress about exams, revision (or lack thereof), and deadlines, I sit in the smugly contented knowledge that I'm done. the smugly, slightly bored, contented knowledge perhaps...

to the extent that the highlight of my day (until the recent 'friendship sofa' revival and Frosty Jack's consumption) was cleaning the living room. (that's a lie - the highlight was tied between the following: watching 'Wifeswap USA', playing 'Portal 2', making and eating delicious pizza.)

but still, it's a weird feeling. knowing that theoretically I could just sit on my arse until September 21 with no ramifications whatsoever. I could, literally, play video games and eat junk food for ~140 days and not suffer any penalties as a result.

why the fuck did my 360 have to break.

Planning a stag

I wrote this for work but it didn't get used. The images didn't come out properly and the formatting of the 'where' section is a bit off as a result. Please ignore this and pretend the empty boxes are pretty pictures of the cities mentioned instead ;D

Putting together a stag celebration:

Marriage is a huge commitment. If you choose the traditional vows, you are agreeing to stay with the person you love for the rest of your life, through good times and bad, through sickness and health. It is understandable, then, that a tradition has developed allowing both soon-to-be-weds one last night of freedom before tying the knot.

But few people realise that stag nights are a huge commitment too. If you’ve been chosen for the traditional role of best man, you are obliged to offer uninterrupted assistance and support the groom in the lead up to, and indeed during, his special day, as well as being expected to throw him an absolutely epic party to celebrate his last night of freedom. It is lucky, then, that this informative guide has been developed to run you through the Five Ws (and One H) of how to plan the perfect stag night.

Why have a stag night?

Do you really need a reason beyond it being an excuse to go out, and have fun with the lads?! If yes, here’s two more:

It’s manly: The terms “stag” and “buck”, both meaning male deer, pertain to the masculine qualities of the leader of the herd (i.e. the groom). Just as a male deer competes for mates through physical challenges with other members of the herd, the groom’s masculine qualities are challenged through excessive drinking, immature behaviour, and maybe even encounters with scantily clad females.

It’s traditional, although there is much speculation to how the tradition developed. Some historians have traced the stag night’s origins to ancient Sparta, where it is thought that Spartan soldiers would hold a feast and make merry before the wedding of their comrades. With such historic roots, we can safely assume this is a tried and tested method.

What happens on a stag night?

While alternatives are available, Wikipedia says of stag nights that “getting drunk and participating in stag activities is now the norm”. A plethora of packages are available on the internet, offering everything from organised pub crawls, to Go Karting, to paintball, to Kalashnikov shooting, to white water rafting. There is also a growing trend to extend the stag night to a stag weekend, and take it abroad. With all these options to consider, how do you go about narrowing it down?

Find out what’s on offer: Get a pen and some paper, type “stag night activities” into Google, and make a list of those that look fun / interesting / cheap. Bear in mind that this is a group affair; try to avoid tailoring activities to much to your own interests and think about what the group will enjoy.

Find out what others have done: There’s no need to plan this alone. Asking people who have previously organised or participated in stag celebrations for advice could be a good idea: Friends and trendy co-workers are a safe bet, random members of the public and parents probably not so much. Add any especially good suggestions to your list.

Find out what the stag wants: This is perhaps the most important aspect of planning the stag party. If the stag doesn’t enjoy himself, it’s likely that other members of the party won’t either. It’s also likely that your inability to throw a good party will be the butt of jokes for years to come (and nobody wants that). Once you’ve prepared a comprehensive list of what’s on offer with prices, and analysis of the pros and cons of each, sit down with the stag and find out his thoughts and preferences. Remember this is his party, so don’t be disheartened if he rejects all your ideas and insists on the tacky ones you wrote off at the first opportunity.

Where should the stag night take place?

The UK has plenty of thriving cities that are very stag friendly. Places that kept cropping up in top 10 lists for stag locations include London, Leeds, Newcastle, Bournemouth, Brighton, Edinburgh and Dublin. However, thanks to the increase in cheap flights from budget airlines, Continental Europe is becoming a popular choice for stag parties. With 45 countries available (51 if you count the 6 we share with Asia), each with its own cultural and social specialities, taking your stag event abroad is seriously worth considering. Below are three stag friendly European capitals, with concise guides as to what’s on offer:

Amsterdam, The Netherlands:

Famous for bicycles, coffeeshops (one word) and its tolerant attitudes.

Why go? Amsterdam is famous for it’s relaxed attitudes to many things that are taboo elsewhere.

Rough prices (in Euro): Hostel pppn ~20-25 single, ~55-80 double.

3 course meal ~20-30.

Pint ~5.

Budapest, Hungary:

Famous for thermal baths, paprika and its beauty.

Why go? Budapest is a beautiful city that offers everything from culture to a vibrant nightlife.

Rough prices (in Hungarian Forint): Hostel pppn ~4800-5000 single, ~10000-16500 double.

3 course meal ~4500-5500.

Pint ~600.

Prague, Czech Republic:

Famous for Prague Castle, nightlife, and its history.

Why go? Prague is cheap, varied and great fun. A perfect backdrop for a weekend of shenanigans.

Rough prices (in Czech Crowns): Hostel pppn ~285-430 single, ~1100-1500 double.

3 course meal ~285-400.

Pint ~50.

When choosing a location, consider the budget: You’ll want to make sure that the stag’s entourage can afford to come. When you send out the invites (see the Who section), include some information about what’s planned and how much it’s likely to cost. It may help to overestimate slightly because it’s better to have money left over at the end than to run out half way through!

The transport: Logistics are an important part of planning, and it’s vital that transport is organised for everybody, for the whole trip. If you’re catching a train or bus from a terminus or a plane from an airport, make sure you have transport to take you to there. Get your pen and paper out again, and write down the journey from start to finish with times, route / flight numbers, and any other information you may find useful. Print out any tickets in duplicate so that you can give everyone theirs and keep a backup copy behind just in case.

The fun potential: Try to find a location that everyone will enjoy, and that offers the activities you and the stag settled on back in the What section. The internet will help you find out what’s available, or if you’re feeling particularly resourceful, get some guidebooks out of the local library

When should the stag party take place?

Timing the stag festivities is a fine procedure. Allowing a day or two for everyone to recover from their monstrous hangovers is an obvious courtesy, but also consider other factors. For example, after the banterous hijinks that occurred on the stag, the groom may appreciate a couple of weeks to let his eyebrows / hair / dignity grow back in time for his special day.

Leave time to plan and prepare: As a general rule, the longer you spend planning, the better the results. Make sure you give yourself ample time to write up lists of activities, finalise the guest list, compare and book travel and accommodation, hassle members of the party for cash, and pack your bag. You know best how organised and efficient you are as a planner, so set yourself a time frame. Then double it just to be sure.

Leave time to make changes: Sadly, things can go wrong. Flying? Volcanic ash, adverse weather, engine failures and numerous other factors may interfere with your plans. Taking public transport? Watch out for road closures, traffic jams and strike action. Try and leave a buffer period so that if something untoward happens, you can organise a makeshift alternative with minimum stress.

Leave time to recover: This was mentioned in the introduction to this section, but I really feel it should be reiterated.

Who should be involved?

This can be tricky. An ideal stag group should compromise a select few of the stag’s closest friends, but when he’s such a popular guy, how do you know who his favourites are? And how do you go about not offending those who aren’t invited?

Let the stag decide: One of the easiest ways to avoid misunderstandings and conflict, is to pass the responsibility to someone else. Tell the stag to choose between 8 and 14 of his chums, emphasising that they should all get on and should all enjoy activities similar in nature to those you discussed previously (in the What section). Skim his selection for any discrepancies, and when you’re sure it all adds up, send out the invites.

Let the invitees consider the invite: Don’t hassle everyone immediately after they receive the invitations. Carving a weekend out of their schedule to abandon their responsibilities in favour of partying with the guys probably requires some negotiation with their loved ones, so give them a week or two to get it sorted. If you follow the advice in the When section, waiting for these responses shouldn’t be an issue.

Let them get on with it: Once the guest list is confirmed and invites have been sent, considered and responded to, you can turn your mind to other things. If the attendees have any issues they can come to you, so don’t spend any time worrying unnecessarily about whether they’ll get on, whether they’ll enjoy themselves, or whatever else. Ultimately they’re all friends with the stag, and someone as cool as him will have rigorous selection criteria when making friends to weed out any undesirables.

Hot tips:

And now for the final section, a selection of tips that didn’t fit too well anywhere else (apologies if you were expecting “how” to follow the Five Ws):

• Get personalised T-shirts for the group! Not only will you look really cool, but it’ll be easier to keep track of each other.
• Set up a beer fund: If everyone gives you a tenner, you’ll have a generous amount with which to buy the stag’s drinks.
• Use price comparison websites when booking travel: SkyScanner is good for flights, HostelWorld is good for hostels.
• Print brief itineraries to give to members of the party: this makes it easier to find each other if something goes wrong.
• Print “get-me-home” cards for everyone, with their name, the address of the hostel, and your phone number: this means if they’re unable to find their way home after a night out, they won’t be stranded in a foreign city.

Bike to Berlin

I wrote this originally as a new page on my blog but have since decided that I don't like the page thing.

March 13th

50 mile training ride

The first training ride I've been able to go on; they're normally on Wednesdays (when I have lectures) or Saturdays (when I have work).

It was supposed to set off at 10.30, but only me and one other cyclist (Kate) were there on time. After a few minutes spent speculating as to whether we'd missed the ride and/or we should set off by ourselves, others arrived. The proposed route was Leeds > Otley > Ilkley > Bolton Abbey, and back. Around 25 miles each way. See below for a rough representation:


View Larger Map

Because the group was mixed ability, we stopped every couple of miles to rest / let people catch up. This prevented a solid pace but it was quite nice to have the rest.

We ate lunch at Bolton Abbey café, or some similarly named establishment, rested for ~30 minutes, then set off again for home.

It was a lot quicker getting back. A different route was taken from Otley > Leeds to avoid cycling up a GIANT hill we cycled down on the way.

Points of interest on the ride included:

• A couple having a "steamy Sunday" in a car in a lay-by


• An ostrich


• A sheep with a bad leg (aww)


• A sign warning motorists to watch out for "Golfers Crossing"


• Some stunning vistas

Bring on the next ride!

agh!

too many:
missed lectures
missed shifts at work
things on my bedroom floor
things in my laundry basket
essay words unwritten
pounds spent

not enough:
obeyed alarms
course reading done
loads of laundry

from now on, more of the latter less of the former

although,

fun had:
cottage
Blackpool
Paris
Durham
98% of time at uni since September

maintain this

«Réponds à nos questions, McDonald’s, ou Ronald mourra!»

I felt like a change with today's French lesson, and so decided to attempt to translate a French news article into English.

The above image stuck out, and led to the selection of «Réponds à nos questions, McDonald's, ou Ronald mourra!» as the article for translation.

With the help of Google Translate (required much less than expected!) I produced the following:

times are hard for Finnish Big Mac fans. Their favourite mascot, a big statue of a smiling clown, Ronald McDonald, was kidnapped last week, then threadented to be executed by a group of activists fighting against junk food. The police conducted the investigation.

The kidnapping was on 31st January 2011, in a McDonalds restaurant situated in the center of the capital Helsinki. The gang who call themselves 'the army of liberation of food' --- repair the statue of Ronald

During the first hours after the kidnapping, people did not --- the disappearance of the station. But the day after, the gang launched a video where the threat is made clear: if Ronald doesn't respont to questions on the quality of the food from its restuarants before 11th February, they will decapitate.

Two other videos have been released on the internet at the beginning of february by the FLA. In the first , the gang ---. In the second, --- "why are we not transparent on the industrial processes, the first contents and additives used in your products? How much of tons of no recyclable waste do you produce chaque année? Have you illegal immegrants among your employees?

These videos have been watched by over 300,000 international customers in a few days. ---

"---" indicates where a sensible translation could not be offered, except for the last "---", which indicates that I could no longer be bothered :3

Obviously my translation doesn't read as well as the English version of the original article; sentence components aren't in the most sensible order, colloquial phrases haven't been noticed properly, etc etc, but upon reflection, the technique worked fairly well.

It led me to learn the days and months, for example.

This then led me to learn the words for 'next' and 'last' and combine them with temporal descriptors to make such phrases as 'last week', 'next year' etc.

Then I learned some location describing words ('dans', 'sur') and some sequential words ('durant', 'avant').

Now I'm about to figure out some question words. So far I have 'oú', 'comment' and 'porquoi', which I believe are 'where', 'how' and 'why' respectively. (Although I also saw 'combien' translated as how; not sure a) whether that's correct or b) what it means!)

ballet in Vienna

I'm trying to think of a relatively short story from my travels that I can recall entirely from memory. My first attempt was of the journey to and first few hours in Berlin, but apparently even that was too complex to commit to writing without referring to notes, photographs and other such material.

Hopefully this account, of a failed trip to the opera, will be more successful.

Although even now I realise I won't be able to remember the name of the ballet we saw.. *sigh*

Nonetheless,

Vienna is perhaps one of Europe's most culturally regarded cities. Mozart spent most of his life there, as have several other famous composers. There are numerous cathedrals dotted about the place. The White Horses are famous too although I can't remember why. Something about art.

With all this pressure to experience and appreciate culture, He'll and I decided it was time to make up for the unsuccessful opera trip in Budapest, and see an opera. We consulted our Couchsurf hosts and discovered that Vienna has at least two opera houses; one traditional and located in the city centre, the other more modern and located a short walk from where we were staying.

Aforementioned pressure led us to the traditional venue, as it fitted more closely with our preconceptions (or at least my preconceptions) of what opera should be like; people in fancy suits and dresses, plush red carpets, balconies, etc.

So we donned our smartest travel attire (casual shirt with jeans for me!) and headed into Vienna proper.

The opera house is a grand building, located near an art gallery and fairly close to the Horse Riding School (whose official name I can't recall..?). It is also surrounded by people dressed as Mozart trying to flog exorbitantly priced tickets to naïve tourists. No phoney Mozart was to trick me and Hel, though: we went straight to the queue for late release standing tickets 8-)

~45 minutes later, after reading and eavesdropping on a synopsis by someone else in the queue, we parted with €4 each for tickets to 'Onegin'.

We were yet to discover that 'Onegin' was in fact a ballet. (Also, note that I managed to remember the name after all!)

The show didn't start for a while so we sat in a hugely fancy quasi-restaurant (after claiming our position in the standing pen) and drank tiny expensive coffee while observing the clearly richer-and-more-successful-than-us patrons going about their pre-ballet business.

Then the show started. I was still vaguely bummed about our planned opera being replaced with inherently unmanly ballet, so it took me a while to get into it, but once I accepted dance as a method of storytelling / expression, it was amazing.

Like, really amazing.

The physical demands on the dancers are obviously intense, but watching them, you wouldn't know it. The elegance and ease with which they conduct themselves is captivating in itself, and then you have Tchaikovsky's (I think) music on top of that. It was awesome.

I'm not going to tell the story of the ballet on here, as it's not really relevant to the post, but you should check it out.

After the show we discussed how good it was over street-procured pizza.

Goooood night.

On change

For those of you awaiting requests (it's cool being able to say that :D) please excuse this non-travel-related post: I worried that it might slip from my mind if it wasn't recorded fairly soon.

Also, excuse any spelling mistakes / shoddy formatting: blogging from a phone is less than ideal :p

Anyway.

I was thinking today about a) whether it's possible to change ingrained personality attributes and if so, b) how this can be achieved.

The issue I'll use for demonstrative purposes is shyness, because a) I('ve) experience(d) it, and b) from what I can tell, it's an attribute that lots of people find undesirable (whether in themselves or others).

A friend of mine introduced me to the concept of 'reframing', which is taking a situation and altering it to your benefit. The situation he used to demonstrate was arguing with a partner; something nobody wants to happen but ends up happening nonetheless. If not handled correctly it can descend into a shitflinging match leaving both parties feeling unnecessarily bad afterwards.

If 'reframed' though, it can be quickly resolved with little hard feeling. The argumentative mindset is directed at an issue, not the other person, and this is the most important thing to consider. In a 'traditional' format argument, the other participant(s) become 'conduits' of the issue, and you end up attacking them rather than the issue. This is when it ends badly.

From what I understand, reframing the 'traditional' argument involves acknowledging the issue (thereby relieving hostility associated with not 'understanding', 'caring', 'listening' or whatever else), tackling it together, and devoting the energy that would have otherwise been spent arguing to resolving the issue.

(I'm not trying to market this as a new theory by the way, just writing about it to strengthen my own understanding and clarify what I mean.)

Thinking about reframing in this context made me wonder whether it can be used elsewhere, and more specifically in the context I mentioned at the start of this post. I found that it works if applied through changing elements in an extended metaphor, as follows:

Metaphor 1: A model to ease understanding

A puppy needs to be toilet trained to prevent it 'emptying' itself on the carpet. At first you monitor the puppy's behaviour, identify when it's about to empty, and take it outside accordingly. It then empties, and you praise the correctly positioned emptying with a treat / game / fuss. The praise acts as positive reinforcement, and, over time, leads to the puppy emptying itself outside of its own accord.

Metaphor 2: Applied to reducing shyness

A person needs to overcome shyness to enhance their enjoyment of social situations. At first they monitor their behaviour, identify when shyness is about to strike, and consciously make efforts to reduce it by taking deep breaths / counting to 10 / whatever suits them. The social situation then unfolds successfully, acting as positive reinforcement, and, over time, leads to the shyness being reduced of its 'own' accord.

Obviously presenting something as a metaphor and applying it in real terms are two very different things, but what can be said is that both metaphors share the following:

• identifying when the issue is about to take affect is part of the process
• acknowledging this and taking action is part of the process also
• through positive reinforcement, behaviours become more firmly established

It also seems to me that exploring something like this could have huge benefits and, as long as it's used well, relatively minimal downsides.

(There's a tiny bit more I want to write but my fingers hurt from Blackberry typing so I'll add it later ;) )

a reflection

Note: Though the tone of this post isn't necessarily positive ( :p ), it doesn't contradict yesterday's post! Just something that crossed my mind today and I thought worthy of thinking about.

"Your problem isn't that you make bad choices, it's that you identify the good choice and then intentionally do the opposite"

Particularly observant Scrubs-watching readers among you may recognise the above quote; said of Dr Cox by his therapist in the episode 'His Story'.

Seems to me to be an undesirable trait.

The worst thing about undesirable traits, though, is when you recognise them in others (in this case, a fictional character), make efforts not to let them manifest in your own behaviour, then later catch yourself doing them:

I had the opportunity to enter a travel writing competition recently. It came to my attention in November, and the deadline was yesterday (31st January). Writing, and specifically travel writing, are interests of mine - to the point of having been considered as 'career' options in the future. Yet despite this, despite writing two separate plans, formulating a basic structure and fleshing out with photographs to support the planned text, I managed to have only a thousand words (out of five thousand) written on the night before the deadline, and managed to persuade myself to postpone the submission of my entry until this time next year.

The issue here is twofold; firstly, there was ample time between November and the end of January to write the piece. There was also time to have it proof read two or three times, make necessary changes, leave it for a few days, then read it one last time with a more removed mindset, as a final screen for errors.

But instead it didn't get done.

Secondly, that I persuaded myself it would be 'easier' not to do something important to me. This is such a pointless and irritating thought process, and it's the one I'm most keen to rid myself of. I don't know if anyone's encountered it before? An example could be knowing that you have an appointment in half an hour, and that it takes twenty minutes to get there. The ten minutes between are spent thinking about reasons not to go to the appointment, even though there is no intention in the first place not to go.

It's hard to explain, and impossible to justify. There really is no reason for it to happen, and as I said before, it's the thought process I'm keenest to rid myself of.

If anyone has ideas of how to do so it'd be interesting to discuss them!