Work started at 8.30am today. We're due an audit and a secret shopper so everyone is stressed and desperate to do everything extra-specially well. I find it a bit farcical to be honest; I work to the same (good!) standard whether we're being observed or not, and therefore recognise the fact that I should be stressed to the same standard whether we're being observed or not. Hence, as work doesn't usually stress me out, today was no different.
We usually get a few would-be customers before we open each day, asking what time we open then never coming back, and so I paid no extra attention to the plump, middle aged Asian lady who approached at ~9.30am. She perused the menu for a couple of minutes, before asking when we open - the usual script. Though what happened next was not the usual:
Without any kind of transition from opening hours, she launched into a deranged tirade about her life. I kid you not, she claimed to have ten degrees, all from Cambridge University, as well as ten O Levels from the same. She (apparently) teaches Psychology to students all over the world, and (apparently) plans to move into publishing next. Recently she took a trip to CroyDON (pronounced thus), whereupon she was offered money for sex. I find the latter most unlikely considering her less-than-desirable age/figure/mental-state.
Nevertheless, she continued on for a few minutes, advising my colleague to "be rough if you have kids, not like these English!". He then aborted the conversation and she finally left, at which point I uttered the witty retort "looks like you pulled there, mate!". To which he replied: "fuck off, you c**t".
The rest of the shift was fairly usual, until a lady ordered and paid for a cappuccino, then walked off before I gave her the drink. This made me laugh loudly for some reason, but I made the drink anyway and she came back around 10 minutes later when she realised something was missing from our previous interaction.
I worked some more during the day, then got some buses and sat down for a while. Nothing hugely interesting happened apart from getting free Ben & Jerry's ice cream! I've put pictures below; as I'd eaten the ice cream when I took the photograph, I included a realistic representation of what my free Cherry Garcia cone looked like.
Om nom nom.